Big Mama
by Evildarkwolf
Summary: there is a big woman who beats the gang up its funny plezz R and R
1. Chapter 1

-1 BIG MAMA

Much sneaked over to the bag of food and was rummaging through it quietly. 'Cheese, cakes, bread, and apples…I can have some and then cook some mush for the rest.' A hand came down on his shoulder and he looked up to see John frowning down at him.

"Much, what are you doing?" said John as he grabbed the bag and held it over his head.

"Nothing, I was looking for some apples to put in the mush."

"I don't want any mush, Much." replied Allan as he got up and stretched.

"I don't care Allan, I'm cooking."

"No you're not you're feeding your self."

Will came hurrying. "There's a carriage coming down the road."

"Alright, let's go see what they have to donate." He picked up his weapons as did the others and they started through the woods to the road. As they drew near they could hear the carriage.

The carriage rattled down the dirt path in Sherwood forest, two guards sat on their horses behind it. The driver was concerned about being in the forest, where outlaws tortured innocent people. It was just before winter would begin.

"Stop right there, and don't try anything." The driver pulled up and sat there, wishing he was at home. Will and Allan knocked the guards off their horses and they fell unconscious to the ground. John stood at the side, watching the drivers.

Allan goes to the door and opened it. Inside was a small thin man, with a large mustache. "Come on and get out and lay on the ground."

"No." Said Peeps as he punched Allan.

"Ow, you little s…" Allan returned the punch twice as the man doubled over.

"Don't beat up the old man." Said Much as he looked inside. "His wife is there."

"He started it, and look what fell off his finger." He held up a ring with diamonds and rubies. He had taken it without the man knowing. Allan smiled and turned to the woman.

"Good work Allan." turning to the woman inside. "Now my lady if you would be so kind to donate to the poor, I would appreciate it. They will go hungry this winter without it."

"I don' t care, they can eat trees."

"That's not nice. Now hand over what you have, all your jewelry."

"You want to come and get it?"

"Don't make me, my lady." He smiles at his friends, and steps up to the door. A large fist coming flying at his face and he flies backwards into Allan, knocking both of them down. A very large muscular woman stands in the door and hopes down. All stare in shock at the woman who must be seven foot in height and weighing at least 250 pounds. Hamhocks for fist. She smiled coldly at them, her eyes like stones and her one eyebrow arching.

Much looked at John and then back at the woman. That woman was bigger than him, and he was scared. Right now he wasn't thinking of eating, he suddenly had no appetite. Robin and Allan scrambled to their feet and moved back.

"Ah ma'am, that wasn't nice. Now hand it over."

"I'll give you something….my fist." She moved quickly, and hit Robin again, as Allan frowned.

"That wasn't very nice." he grabbed her arm, as she jerked it, and he went flying into the carriage side, hitting the wood with his head. "OW."

John, seeing a small boy rush past him, as smirks until that same boy stops and bites his leg. John reaches down to try and pull him off. The woman yells. "Get your hands off my baby, Muffin."

John shakes him off, and tosses him towards her. She catches him and puts him down gently. "I'll fix you, hurting my baby." She rushes John and starts hitting him, and John shocked steps back and begins hitting back.

Muffin rushes Allan, and bites him on the thigh, and punches him in the privates. Allan lets out words that turn the air blue as he gets really mad and slugs the little brat. The three foot tall brat, gets a kick from Allan, as the boy lands on Will, and latches onto his arm with his teeth. Will yells and starts slapping the brat.

Big Mama hears it and she turns and rushes the boys. She screams as she attacks, her large arms knocking the two onto the ground. She jumped and landed on them, almost crushing them both, as the tried to yell for help. Much stood there with eyes like saucers, and backed up more.

John moved over with Robin and tried to pull her off the boys. Will got a elbow into the eye, and Allan got an elbow into his nose. Much was scared. "We should get out of her now, Master."

They rolled her off them, and grabbed their two men and pulled them to their feet. They were ready to run when she grabbed Robin from behind, the back of his pants and pulled him to her. She threw him over her arm, and with her other large hand, and spanked him. Robin squirmed as the hard heavy hand kept coming down on his bottom. Much couldn't help it, he laughed.

Tell me how I did? Do you like Big Mama?


	2. Chapter 2

-1"I don't mean to be funny, but that is just not nice. Spanking our leader, wait until Marion hears about this. You will get it then." Said Allan as he hit Much in the head with his hand. Big Moma looked up at Allan.

"Your leader? The scrawny thing? Why one of my legs is bigger than him."

Will tried to sneak up behind the woman, as Allan moved closer but staying out of her reach. "Let him go."

"You want some of this? I got time to spank you too."

Will yelled as he felt teeth dig into his butt. "OW!!!" He reached behind him and pulled the brat off, and shook him. "Muffin, I'm going to pull your teeth, and make you eat them." Muffin, yelled for his moma.

Big Moma turned her head at the sounds of her son's voice. Allan took that moment to jump her, and pulled Robin away as Much grabbed at Robin. "I'm going to kill you, beanpole!" She yelled at Will. She rushed him, and pulled Muffin out of his hands and grabbed him by the shirt. She looked down at his now pale face. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size little boy."

"Why don't you, or is it you can't find anyone your own size?" Yelled Will as he squirmed. Allan picked up John's staff and broke it over her head. She turned and swatted him like a annoying fly, sending Allan flying into Robin. John got to his feet, and rushed her roaring like a wounded bear.

She lifted Will, and twisted his ear. "Now apologise to Muffin, and then you can go home to your moma." She twisted it again and he yelled.

"Why should I? He bit me!"

"I don't care! Now or I am going to make you sorry."

"I already am sorry I met you!" Yelled Will, as John grabbed her from behind. Allan pulled Will away, and then pulled his dagger.

From the clearing they heard a horse coming, and looking up Will saw Marion riding up. She stopped and jumped down, wondering what was going on. "What is going on?"

Allan stabbed at Big Moma, and it hit her wide belt, and she grabbed his hand. "Little boys shouldn't play with knives." She hit John, and then grabbed Allan.

Marion glanced over at Robin and saw him rubbing his bottom, and winching. She had never seen any woman as large as this one. Apparently she was one tough fighter. Marion saw John fall, and she rushed the woman with her sword. Big Moma dropped Allan and Will helped him up.

Big Moma saw Marion, and smiled. "Ah, a pretty. Whose sweet are you? The tall beenpole, the skinny leader, or the bear lying there?" She asked, as she avoided the swing of Marion's sword.

Marion, flipped over her head, as Allan and Will rushed her from the sides. John kicked her feet out from under her. Then all three men jumped on top of her, trying to hold her down. She threw them off, as she took to using her fist, as Robin pulled Marion back. Muffin came up to Marion, and gave her a pleading look. "Can I go home with you?"

Marion looked down at the tiny midget, who was holding his arms up to her. "You are pretty, lady. I like you." She smiled down at him, as Robin's eyes grew wide.

"Stay away from him, he bites."

Muffin looked at Robin then back at Marion. "I would never bit you. He's just jealous."

"Lady Marion, Master's right, he bites."

Big Moma stood up, and frowned at her son. "You would desert me! After all I have done for you? For this piece of danty thing?"

"She's pretty." Muffin smiled at his mother. She screamed at him and then rushed Marion.

The sounds of a horse rushing towards them, and looking in that direction saw Gisborne. He saw the woman reaching for Marion and he yelled and drew his sword. "You will not hurt the lady." He jumped from his horse and rushed the woman, as he gently pushed Marion out of the way.

Big Moma smiled. "Ah a man in black, you're handsome. I'll take you home with me."

"Never!" He struck out at her, as Robin smirked. The others laugh as she took his sword and threw it away, as she grabbed him, throwing him over her shoulder and ran into the forest. Gisborne's yells for help could be heard as she disappeared. Robin's men began to laugh as they relaxed and decided to disappear.

Robin was still rubbing his bottom and Marion raised an eyebrow at him. "What happened to you?"

"I fell. Can you fix it?"

Allan laughed as he moved up. "I'm not being funny, Marion. But She spanked our mighty leader, hard."

Marion laughed as she watched Robin's face turn red. "I wish I could have seen that."

"I could tell you all about it, if you got some food. I am hungry." Replied Much.

"Shut up, Much. She doesn't need to hear it. Forget it!"

They walked into the forest, chuckling, and hoping they never met Big Moma again.

The End…………..or is it?


End file.
